• 1980 Ford van - brown with tinted windows.
• Modified with sleeping bunk; (9/94).
• Current mileage: 126,345.6; (subject to change).
• Insurance company: Kansas Farm Bureau.
• Distinguishing features: Silly cow / heart wallpaper, rear spotlights, dent that Pat refuses to admit is his fault, horrible, ill-conceived caulking job; (Scott's fault).
• Alias: Thunder Chicken.
• Meaning of alias: "Thunder Chicken" is a term truckers use to denote a Ford van according to the "Trucker's Bible" (published - Merrian-Holtzman ©1972).

ADOPTED RULES FOR THUNDERCHICKEN:

1. No girls allowed in van without majority vote.
2. Do not take the van's name in vain.
3. No smoking, unless seated in the front seats.
4. No masturbation in the van.
5. No sex in the van. (Even with written permission from Scott, Ken, and the Mammoth Publicity Dept.).
6. When in Boston, drive with extreme caution and have affairs (nonsexual; see #5) in order.
7. Driver has control of drive-time music.
8. At least one conscious member at driver's side while in transit.
9. No illegal drugs in the van.
10. No open containers in the van.
11. When pulled over, claim to be in Christian country band.
12. Driver pays tolls.
13. What happens on the road, stays on the road.
14. Be fair and equitable with the van

HIGHLIGHTS

1. Van breaks down in -31 degree weather en route to Des Moines, Iowa.
2. Van breaks down in Kearney, Missouri in -22 degree weather, forcing band to watch Chiefs playoff game in truckstop. The Chiefs won. Dave's toes also survived; (11/93).
3. Van is assaulted by smelly, enraged, drug-crazed skinhead in Detroit; (11/94).
4. Van visits NFL Hall of Fame; (11/94).
5. Van drives through Boston, Massachusetts with Scott at the helm, retaining little to no damage.
6. Girl violates 'no girl' policy while in Chicago, Illinois; (1/95). Her name was Tammy, and the whole thing was on the up and up
7. Van goes funny in lowa en route to Kansas City - loses headlights and 80% of power at night during winter whiteout / ice storm with Ken at the helm; (1/95).
8. Van travels from Bozeman, Montana to Seattle, Washington nonstop from 2am 'til 11 am, crossing two mountain ranges while desperately following Mule van at break-neek speeds.
9. Van breaks down in Seattle in 61 degree weather.
10. Band discovers wonders of Gold Bond Medicated Powder- general odor within van is improved.
11. First speeding ticket; (Ken).
12. Van breaks down in Norman, Oklahoma in 106 degree weather.
13. Van breaks down in Chicago, Illinois in 17 degree weather.
14. Van's roof painted white in effort to reduce heat inside of van for tours of the southwest. Yeah, right.
15. Van leaves country; (Canada); (9/95).
16. Girls enter van in Kitchener, Ontario. We drive them home to an upset father who wields firearm.
17. Ron awakes late one night while en route to Montreal in a state of delirium and vainly tries to sexually assault Pat.
18. Van becomes "Chicken of the Sea" for the first time on a ferry to Prince Edward Island, Nova Scotia; (9/95)
19. Van breaks down in Bangor, Maine in 43 degree weather; (10/95).
20. Van completes tour, takes back seat to mega-super computer; (2/96).
21. Van gains eternal fame on internet; (May 15 '96).

*E-MAIL AT: thunderchicken@killcreek.com